Jealousy is a negative habit. As soon as a person is not content with what they have, and they don’t accept themselves as they are, this leads to thoughts of comparison and constantly looking at another person thinking, "Why don't I have what the other person has".
“If I had what he has, I would probably be better, more successful, richer, etc.”
The problem is this simply isn’t true. Each person has what they have accumulated throughout life such as the set of talents, qualities and intellectual ability to comprehend the world around them and experience life. Wise people say a man who is happy in life is a rich man. But as they say: "The neighbor's grass is always greener", so many people look at the other person and think that they has something better. If only I had something like that person - then my life would be better!
It is indescribable how important it is to say thank you - especially in a healthy relationship.
JEALOUSY IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP CAUSES DAMAGE!
Jealousy is a basic habit that happens all the time between people. But as soon as it enters the home or in a romantic relationship, it is a massive problem. Jealousy, by definition, is not a feature of reciprocity.
Reciprocity means that I accept what I am, I accept what my partner is, and together, we build common things.
But if I am not satisfied with myself and I would like some other quality that my partner has, then by the very definition of this situation, I define my partner as an enemy.
As soon as a couple becomes jealous of each other, they are no longer partners and no longer friends. They are no longer a couple. They are no longer a loving couple. They are enemies, living together. At this moment, you created a huge problem, bringing dirt into your relationship which has the potential to destroy everything.
LIVE FULLY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE.
A successful, healthy relationship is one in which each partner feels completely themselves, bringing all the qualities they have to create a partnership that compliments one another.
A good, healthy relationship comes from a place of support, appreciation, respect, acceptance, and completion. The moment you introduce jealousy into your healthy relationship, you eliminate all the potential good things that can be realized in a successful, healthy relationship.
DO NOT COMPETE WITH EACH OTHER!
Jealousy itself is equal to the principle of comparison and competition. When analyzing a healthy relationship, it is forbidden to talk about comparisons and competition between spouses, but only about completeness in a healthy relationship.
If one of you is in competition with your partner, it means that within the healthy relationship, that person does not feel complete with themselves. A feeling of lack of self-worth begins and this situation creates an imbalance in the healthy relationship. What was once a loving, supportive relationship becomes harmful to self-worth and a competition.
LIVE FULLY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE.
A successful, healthy relationship is one in which each partner feels complete with themselves and all the qualities they have. When they look at their partner, they have a sense of completeness.
A good, healthy relationship comes from a place of support, appreciation and respect, acceptance and completion, and the moment you introduce jealousy into your relationship, you eliminate all the potential good things that can be realized in a successful healthy relationship.
THROW THE JEALOUSY FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIP AS FAR AS POSSIBLE!
The issue of jealousy has no place in a romantic relationship because the two partners are not in competition and their main job is to complement each other.
The couple should enjoy the fact that everyone is different and brings different qualities to the relationship. Everyone can express themselves through their own talents.
No one can be everything all the time. Spouses should only feel obligated to bring their own special qualities to the relationship.
And you, as a couple, striving for a successful relationship, must love this togetherness, which allows each of you to be what you are and reach a state of balance within yourself and the relationship. That's why jealousy has no place. It destroys the relationship and the sooner you kick it out of your life, the sooner your relationship can improve and grow into its potential.
POSITIVE JEALOUSY COMES FROM A PLACE OF ASPIRATION TO LEARN, IMPROVE AND DEVELOP AND NEGATIVE JEALOUSY COMES FROM A PLACE OF INFERIORITY AND PETTINESS!
Remember,
Positive jealousy comes from a place of aspiration to learn, improve and develop,
Negative jealousy comes from a place of inferiority and pettiness!
In games, competitions, or wars, it is important to win, but in contrast, to create a successful, healthy relationship avoid negative feelings of jealousy towards your partner.
If you are a couple who exhibit behaviors of jealousy towards one another most of the time, and only the principle of winning is important to you, then you will learn that creating negative jealousy can poison and destroy your relationship.
But if you are a couple who strive to improve, learn new things, and develop together, then you can build a healthy relationship on reciprocity, friendship, and equality. Realize that you are a team that rises and falls together. No member of a team plays the same position. By highlighting differences in a relationship, you can “play different positions” in life and be strengthened as a unit.
See you in the next post.
Chaya & Yiftach
PS
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